Today is not a good day! I have already had 2 cigarettes and I want another one, so instead of smoking I am going to write a blog!
Last night I had a crazy, vivid dream about my 6th grade crush. When I am really stressed out I have dreams about him for some reason and I hate it! It disturbs me! And the next day I am really anxious. I don’t know this kid anymore. In fact if I saw him on the street I wouldn’t know who he was. Okay maybe that’s not true because of FaceBook, but I would definitively not say anything to him. And I am sure he wouldn’t say anything to me.
Now, after I have a crazy dream I like to figure out why. So I’ve been thinking all morning about why I would have a crazy dream about this kid. Like I said usually when I am stressed I have dreams about him. And guess what? I am stressed! But at the same time it has to be something else. I was thinking and thinking, then it came to me…
Yesterday, on FaceBook I saw a status: “80 days until we see all our favorite people at the OBX.” What is the person talking about? Oh yeah, her wedding! Guess who isn’t invited? Oh yeah that’s me! Now of course there have been a million weddings on FaceBook that I haven’t been invited too, most of the time I am not offended. My two best friends from high school: both married, not invited to either of their weddings, don’t care. Friends from college: married, not invited to their weddings, don’t care! But this person I have known since elementary school and we were in Girl Scouts together since 3rd grade. We went to high school and college together. We took classes in college together. She would take me to her church during finals so we could study together. And I’m not invited to her wedding!
Now, if she had dated like 10 million different people and I didn’t know her future husband that would be one thing. But they have been dating since high school! I know him! I partied with him in college. I sat on my front porch with her, smoking cigarettes convincing her to stay with him after a disastrous Valentine’s Day. Truthfully, we are not as close as we use to be. I mean she moved to California and we don’t even talk anymore. However, in college, she told me that I was invited to her wedding. And there is no question that she is invited to mine. All the Girl Scouts are invited to my wedding, no question! Now if all the Girl Scouts don’t invite me to their wedding, I will live. There are about 3 people that if I didn’t get invited, I would survive. But this girl isn’t one of them!
Now, am I for sure not invited to her wedding? No! I mean 80 days before the wedding you probably haven’t sent out invitation, but I for sure didn’t get a save the date! And I know that they sent out save the dates because my Girl Scout Leader got one! Are all the Girl Scouts invited to this wedding, but not me? Once again probably not! So should I really be this offended? Probably not! Honestly it’s not like she is my best friend and I didn’t get invited because we had a falling out. But it just shows me that she doesn’t think we are as close as I think we are. It cements the fact that she is really only my friend when it is convenient for her. And let’s face it that makes me pissed!
Part of me is like “I should just tell her!” And the other part is like “Liz, get over it! It’s just a wedding!” So now I am falling somewhere in the middle, writing this blog. And you can bet I am going to post a link to it on FaceBook and pray she reads it! Then another part hopes she doesn’t because it’s kind of mean right? Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I mean it is just a wedding! Just because she doesn’t invite me to hers doesn’t mean I won’t invite her to mine!
Who I am inviting to my wedding (and you can quote me on this):
1)My immediate family
2)My extended family
3)The close family friends that I have grown up with.
4)Erica, Jodi and Ashley
5)The Girl Scouts
6)Then all the rest!
This is also the order in which I am going to tell people I am engaged! I will phone, email, and do whatever it takes to tell them before they find out on FaceBook!
I have really crazy scary vivid nightmares when I'm sick. I had a super bad one last night. One trick I have is getting a bubble bath before bed, then crawling under a nice warm comforter right after. Also, dream catchers are kind of silly, but the placebo effect always kinda worked for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry about your friend....hopefully she didn't mean anything personally from this. :-/ just stay strong, focus on yourself and your wonderful goals because you have a ton of people cheering you on! Not to mention that puppy waiting for its new home... ;-) lol ok I'll stop rambling. Stay strong, Liz!!! Happy leap day!
I used to hate my dreams too. I was always so worried about what they meant, especially if they were vivid. I was on a medication for a little bit to help my body absorb potassium. Potassium makes your dreams BIZZARE. It would bother me the whole day, especially if I was feeling scared or anxious in the dream. I started telling my coworkers about them. They all laughed about how crazy my dreams were so I started to see them as funny too. Now I never think twice about my dreams. If talking about them helps, I'm always here to listen! And if hearing that you're not the only one with crazy ass dreams, I would be happy to share some of mine with you! haha :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your friend. I've been through that too and I was suprised at how much it hurt me because I'm not really big on weddings. I probably wouldn't have gone even if I was invited, but the fact that she didn't invite me really upset me. She was supposed to be my maid of honor and she asked me to dog-sit while she was off getting married?! I was upset! At the same time, I remember planning my wedding on a pretty tight budget, and by the time I had all of my family and all of his family, we didn't have room for friends. We even had to cut out a lot of family. So try not to take it personal.
Anyways, keep up the good work!